bedside manners

         I recently slept with this guy, Thomas, who was visiting old friends on my college campus for the weekend.  He didn't leave me with any super outrageous stories, but his bedside manners deserve to be noted:

1. I will give him credit; he definitely knew what he was doing.  When I told him that, he proceeded to say, "I mean yeah; I've slept with over 30 women."
2. He had no problem farting...in my bed.  Like Thomas, you are not my boyfriend and you kind of look like a dinosaur.  What the FUCK makes you think you can fart in my bed.
3. We had to kill time the next morning while waiting for a friend to pick him up and got on the topic of Spring Break.  I showed him a few pictures off my phone of NYC on St. Patrick's Day; he showed me the lovely picture below of himself and "some random," below from Panama City...
4. And finally, as he was getting dressed the next morning, he turned to me and says, "Just so you know, I already have plans to sleep with this girl, Tess, for the rest of the weekend.  I just didn't want you expecting anything."

And who says chivalry is dead!