always ask ahead of time

        Jessie was my first hook-up after getting out of a rocky, dysfunctional 3-year relationship.  And he was quite possibly the worst rebound to date.  Lets start with the fact that hammered me just casually overlooked the fact that he had a HORRIBLE CURLY BLONDE AFRO.  It was unlike anything I've ever seen.  But for some reason, this didn't stop stupid, horny me from hitting on him.  I spent the evening flirting with him and making him buy me drinks, including one called "The Red-headed Slut," to which I so cunningly replied, "I'm not a red-headed slut, I'm a dirty-blonde one..." Real clever, Katie.  

          Anyway, at some point in the night, we got separated and he ended up leaving.  Naturally, I was disappointed and REALLY wanted to get my first-time-after-the-relationship-time over with.  So I texted him my address saying, "How soon can you get here."  This is where I should tell you that I was home from college on Summer break and living with my parents...drunk me didn't exactly think this one through.  So Jessie and his fucking blonde afro show up in my front yard.  Being as classy as I am, I suggest that we have sex in my backyard.  (I am so, so sorry mom.)  

       Well the clothes start coming off and I find myself face-to-face with my first uncircumcised penis and nearly scream.  I am sorry, but WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD ANYONE LEAVE THEIR CHILD UNCIRCUMCISED IT LOOKS LIKE A HOTDOG IN A SLEEPING BAG.  Fucking Jessie was so drunk that he couldn't stay hard and the "sleeping bag" just kept coming back.  I was livid and disgusted.  And had grass in my hair and was starting to notice the blonde afro.  It became clear that nothing was going to happen, aside from being scarred for life, so I kicked him out of my backyard.  Thank you Jessie for being my worst rebound to date.  Since then, drunk me ALWAYS slips in the casual "Soooo, are you circumcised?" question ahead of time.